You can train your hardest, you can try your best and have no regrets — and still not get what you want. That’s a hard lesson to learn in front of millions of people.
Why is everyone so obsessed with portraying an alternate version of themselves to others, as if to become what everyone else thinks they should be?
That’s what I wrote about for my class this week when prompted to write about self-defnse; passing. We live in a culture of abuse where violence is directed at “other.” We promote our survivability with denial, reaction formation, camouflage… the most common defense mechanisms being behaving against whatever you’re actually feeling, or hiding. I think we’ve been conditioned to feel the need to conform as a form of self-defense.
I went to meet a Jeet Kune Do master and hear about Bruce Lee’s martial art where he spoke of self-defense being synonymous with self-expression but then self-defense turns into a paradox, it seems if self expression marks you as “other” and invites violence.
The thing about patriarchy is that individual men, gay and straight, are often really wonderful people who you love deeply, but they have internalized some really poisonous shit. So every once in a while they say or do something that really shakes you because you’re no longer totally certain they see you as a human being, and you feel totally disempowered to explain that to them.
To my dad
I feel like I reblog this all the time.
Literally never stops being relevant. And sometimes when it happens I need to find this quote and ground myself in the knowledge that I’m not alone in this feeling. (via khaleesi)